On Monday, I got back on the Doctor’s scales (which I do whenever I go in for any other reason, otherwise I don’t use scales at all). It had been only one week since I’d stepped on them before. I had not lost one more pound. And immediately, I felt the anxiety rising. The old diet-mentality-I-must-lose-weight-every-single-week-or-why-bother way of thinking which I had lived with for so, so many years began to rise it’s ugly head again. The difference, this time, is I was able to step outside myself and observe my reaction. Without judgement, or blame. I felt the shame rising. (yes, shame, an ugly emotion to be sure-maybe I’ll write a completely different post about shame sometime) I went to sit down in the waiting room, and just sat with that feeling for a few minutes. And I said to myself - really, Cher? You’re really going to go down this road again? And my answer was NO WAY IN HELL.
So, I literally told myself Enough! And I reminded myself this is not any kind of race. I let myself off the hook. I am not on any D.I.E.T. – I’m leaving that way of being far, far behind me. I’m eating well, I’m moving my body, I’m becoming more and more aware of the kinds of and quality of the food I eat. I’m making small changes, a few at a time. I’m loving on myself, I’m doing visualizations every day. I’m doing more than enough of the right things. I’m making better choices, all around. And that is enough.
Learning to step outside yourself and observe what you are doing, saying, how you are reacting, without judgement or blame is an extremely powerful tool. My counselor gave me this tool, and I am now in the habit of using it all the time. It takes some practice, especially if, like me, you didn’t know yourself at all. You will find this tool talked about quite a lot if you’re into learning mindfulness at all. This is one tool I have in my toolbox that has helped teach me that I’m ok just the way I am, that has helped me treat myself with compassion, and also has helped me to learn to trust myself. If you’re trying to leave self-hatred or self-abuse behind (yes, strong words, I know, but that was where I was at back then), this tool is really effective.
So, then, I pushed that shame I was feeling right out of my line of thinking, and soon enough, within an hour, I would say, I was back on track, feeling great about what I have lost so far, and ready to keep going on my journey toward better health and self-love. 
